A Tale of Five Cucumbers

And which variety outperformed them all

I sat on the couch on a cloudy winter afternoon. My wife sat nearby, the Fedco seed catalog in her hand. We were chattering and brainstorming, as we often do. (Anyone identify?)

Now mind you, I have two, maybe three seed catalogs I trust. I’ve been through the mill with other catalogs. I know what they do…

Variety 1: Delicious exquisite flavor, early to bear, and vigorous. A must-have for the home gardener! …

Variety 2: Tasty and sweet, extremely productive. One of the best in our trials! …

Variety 3: Exceptional flavor and very high-yielding. Meaty, yet tender. An old-time favorite…

Okay, now which variety would you pick?

All three, right?

Until you see your bill.

How can they make me want every single variety?!!!

I learned the hard way.

A variety they said was reliable?

Nope, not for me.

The variety they said was the most productive?

Again, not for me.

After a few years of experience (about 15 now, to be exact) I learned that all is not as it appears. At least in seed catalogs.

And some catalogs specifically (ahem…clears throat…) are quite adept at making every variety sound like a world-class specimen that is top-of-the class in nearly every category.

So when Julie read me the description of the South Wind cucumber and suggested I try it, I was skeptical.

But I was also desperate. I had tried cucumbers for years. But every year saw only miniscule improvement despite my valiant attempts.

I tried the same supposedly reliable variety from my most trusted seed company every year. And every year resulted in a mere handful of cucumbers and lots of early-to-die plants.

Other crops danced in elegance from my valiant soil-building efforts, but the stubborn cucumbers only twitched.

If, as they say, insanity is doing the same thing over and over when it’s not working, then cucumber growing was insanity for 5 years straight.

Finally a little door in my own stubborn heart cracked open, just far enough to test the waters.

It wouldn’t hurt to try a few seeds.

Maybe my wife is on to something.

And while I’m at it, I’ll try a few more varieties too.

…

Spring finally came, and I placed the seeds in the ground. 5 varieties, to be exact.

In the early stages of growing, the plants all looked fantastic except Corinto (which had barely germinated… maybe old seed?). Marketmore and Gateway were the first to produce, and the fruits themselves were beautiful. Long and dark, just like those in the pictures.

Diva soon joined the party too.

So far so good. Either my soil-building efforts had finally registered in the cucumber brains, or these varieties were of a different class.

But South Wind? I was doubtful. The plant seemed vigorous, albeit not as dark green as the others, but the fruits were few and far between. And not as elegant. We’ll see…

And then something happened.

The Marketmore plants died. Just like my Corinto plants had always done, only a bit later.

Gateway and Diva continued their harvests, and finally South Wind caught the memo too. But again, the fruits were lighter in color, not as long and dark and straight (why is that important anyway?), and the plants were overgrown for the quantity of fruits they set.

But maybe a vigorous, overgrown plant has some benefits? At least the plant isn’t dying.

And then things took another turn. Southwind began setting more and more fruit, sometimes three per cluster, while Diva gave up the ghost and even Gateway started to fade. (Marketmore and Corinto were long-gone by now.)

And that continued.

August and September came and went.

And still it continued.

The South Wind leaves formed spots and faded in color, but new shoots, blossoms and fruit clusters continued to emerge.

Every week, Gateway gave me a few cucumbers, and South Wind gave me a load.

Do you know that Bible verse that says “Saul has killed his thousands and David his ten thousands”? That was Gateway and South Wind.

October finally came.

I’d never had cucumbers this late. Not even close.

The Gateway plants eventually gave up the ghost, but those South Wind plants kept cranking right up until frost, despite the faded and disease-spotted leaves. (Who cares about a little disease if I’m getting healthy fruits, right?)

And every time I harvested I thought back to that cloudy winter day when Julie read to me from the Fedco seed catalog.

And every time I was grateful I listened.

-Laverne

P.S. Here’s a late-season picture, weeds and all, to testify to the results…

Can you believe the entire row was once cucumbers? As you can probably tell, the dead plants had never reached the top of the trellis. The South Wind, on the other hand, reached to the top and then halfway back down.